Macushla Volume 2--Chapter 1

This is the first chapter to the second volume of Macushla, where the girls encounter with the boys again! OK, enjoy my friends and hope you like it! Thank you. --KatDon 

Chapter 1: Traveling Worlds and Seven Seas

Around the nocturnal hour; Roxanne had a dream last night of her kissing Amadan: She could feel his freezing cold lips, shivers went down her spine. he then wrapped his cold arms around her. and pulled Roxanne in towards his half naked body. She put her arms around his cold neck. the kiss was so passionate she blushed. his lips were perfect. then she feel his cold tongue enter her mouth. He touched your warm tongue with his cold icy tongue. She then felt his hand's lowering towards her bottom. She felt butterflies run up her stomach. Roxanne woke up feeling weird, she never had dreams about Amadan as she couldn't understand why she is dreaming about him as she feels strange about this! In the morning; Roxanne was sitting in a tree, watching the clouds go by when she heard her phone beeped. She looked at it as it read, "Do you want to start?" Curious; Roxanne wondered what it cold be so she clicked 'Yes'. Then her phone begin to speak which surprised her that it knows her name, "Roxanne Fawn....It's time to decide your destiny." Roxanne thought this was getting too weird and she didn't know who it was. Then the voice from her phone: "Take the train from the station, it will leave around 9:45." Roxanne looked at the time, it read 9:37. "Dammit! I might not make it but--Whatever!" She said. Then, Roxanne took off running as fast as she can, hopefully she'll get there on time! When she got there; Roxanne realized she didn't have a ticket. "Shit." hissed Roxanne. All of a sudden, a ticket pops out of the machine and Roxanne takes the ticket as she got to the train was going to. She barely made it however she made it in the nick of time. Roxanne panted: "I made it--That was close!" She checked her phone which it now says, "Take the 9:59 train." Roxanne looked at time which says 9:54 so she gets to the elevator where she goes with a boy. Just before the doors closed, a boy jumps in and lands on his head. That's when, Roxanne comes across other people and rescued others that she amazed. Just then, Amadan found Roxanne, who asks him how did he found him. Then, Amadan revealed that Genjo found them! At the same time; Oscar found Charlotte and it was because of Tenpo. He greeted her, while also trying to be honest about seeing her. Vanessa also found Delilah with help from Sambo, Nia, and the other two! "What are you doing here?" demanded Delilah. Sambo placed a hand on her cheek as he said, "I just want to see how defrost my ice queen is." In the meantime; Maggie Mae and Lalena meet Bishamon & the gang with help from Seiten and Kenren! Kenren greets the skeptical Lalena, who asks him what is he doing here. But Kenren took her hand and says, "I missed you and wanted to see you again." When in question; Hachiman and Marici asked Seiten about his connections with these girls. Seiten smirked and replied, "Let's just say I stole something precious from her." Marici gasped, Hachiman glares at him: "What?!" He demanded. "No, not like that. I just stole her heart...That's what I meant, not what you thought I said in that context." explained Seiten. Marici breathed a sigh of relief, Haciman eyed him suspiciously and Seiten glanced at Maggie Mae, who's hand was reached out to the sky while lying on the grass. 

That's when, Roxanne saw the random memories on the Moneta: "How are you?" Kazusasuke whispered. Tamamo Mae shrugged, "I'm all right, it's seems tranquil and calm for a banquet." She said. Kazusasuke chuckles, "Great Watch makes good things happening to you." He remarked. Tamamo Mae looked uncomfortable, "Please, don't mention those people, OK?" She said. In the next memory shows someone name Tamamo Mae who looked confused, "To me?" She asked. Oinari comes forward, "What he means is, we came to visit you." She said. Tamamo Mae felt her heart lub-dubbing in her chest, "Captain Asano, who is this young man?" She asked. Takumi introdcued him to her, "This is Oinari, one of my best lieutenants, and this is his friend, Konohana." He said. Kazusasuke looked disinterested, "A besotted damsel, I see." He remarked in a bored voice. Tamamo Mae looked away, frightened, but heard Konohana's voice: "Hi!" Tamamo Mae looked nervous, "...Uh, um." She stuttered. Kazusasuke glanced at her, "Tamamo Mae?" He asked. Tamamo Mae could feel her heart, lub dub it went. Lub dub, lub dub. Thumpity thump, thumpity thump. "You OK?" Oinari asked. Tamamo Mae glanced back smiling, "Oh yes, just shy." She said. Kazusasuke slapped her back, Tamamo Mae winced while her friend ran his mouth, "Please forgive her timidness, she's a fidget little maiden." He said, laughing his butt off. It changes again and there was more memories: "Lizzie!" A voice called out from afar. Lizina turned around in surprise to see a mousy boy with goggles on his helmet he wore. This was Turms Feboldson. "Turms? What are you doing here?" asked Lizina. "I left False Indigo. They were too busy celebrating your departure." He said, "So I told them off and left." "Oh, Turms. You didn't have to do that." Lizina sighed. "No, I want to. Those guys were a bunch of jerks! Wherever you go, I follow." Turms said. Lizina was moved by this as so the two friends walked together but Turns said he had to do something first. He turned his back and pulled out the tracking device, let it drop to the floor and crushed it with his foot. "Screw you." He muttered. And then he followed Lizina to a new journey. A few hours later; Lizina was sniffling as she tried to wipe her tears from her eyes. She had Turms draped around her and Lizina was escorting her unconscious friend. Earlier before, they have been attacked by False Indigo. They have been harassed and beaten up. Turms took the beaten, he couldn't bare Lizina to get hurt. But Lizina was so upset by those jerks that hurt her and her friend. "Why?" thought Lizina while crying, "Why do they hate us so much?"Just then, there was a growling sound and Lizina look up to see Pretas in her way. She knew that this was it, this was it for her and Turms. Lizina doesn't have any fighting skills at all, only healing powers. False Indigo puts her down for that, saying that someone with healing powers isn't worthy enough. She believed it, Lizina has no purpose in fighting no longer. She closed her eyes, bidding farewell for she was too good for this sinful earth. However, she is shocked when she heard the Pretas letting out a blood curdling scream of pain and she opened her eyes. She saw that they were being speared by some people, these people were none other than Androcles, Yvain, Hijiro, Maud, and all of the others. They were fighting these monsters with their powers and skills. This was too much to believe! Too much to process. Finally, once the heroes are done taking care of the monsters; Androcles noticed Lizina, "Hey. You OK?" He called out. Lizina nodded, but then when Androcles looked to see Turms around Lizina and asked, "Your friend OK?" Lizina shook her head, "My friend--He's been hurt!" She managed to say through her tears. Nikita step forward, "Let me take a look at him." She said. Lizina looked at her with a worried look, "Who are you?" She asked. "Don't worry, you can trust me." replied Nikita. So, Nikita took a look at Turms's wounds and right on the spot, she healed Turms. When Turms awoke, he was glad to see Lizina. "Lizzie! I'm so glad to see that you're OK." Turms said. He and Lizina embraced, it seems these two friends were like brother and sister. Lizina glanced at Nikita with a smile on her face, "Thank you." She said. Nikita looked all snooty, "Yes well....My regards I give you." She replied and sauntered away. Lizina looked at her with a confuse look and she glance at Androcles & the gang, "Was it something that I said?" She asked. Androcles shrugged, "Beats me!" He said. "Oh don't fret. She's always like that around the 'pretty ones'." assured Esfandyar. Maud glared at him, "And what am I? Chopped liver?" She asked. Esfandyar looked embarrassed, "You are--Are--Um--Uh!" He was lost for words but Bennu helped him out, "A sister?" He said. Esfnadyar brightened up, "A sister...Yes, you are like a sister." He said cleverly. Lizina was troubled by this as she said, "Funny. She doesn't see me that way." Now Esfandyar was red faced then before, "That's because...She doesn't know much about you just yet." He said. Lizina smiled, "Good answer." She replied, she and the others laughed. But Lizina was shocked at herself. She never laugh like this in awhile. Ever since she joined False Indigo, she never felt happy and was always miserable. But after leaving False Indigo, she felt happy. She found people that were kind, considerate, nice, and not a mean bone in their body. Something that False Indigo was not. She and the rest of these people were looking around in places after they found an abandoned part of a building. While looking about, Lizina discovered something inside the abandoned place. 

"Hey, look what I found!" called Lizina. She pulled out for the others to see, Androcles squint at it. "A princess wand?" He asked. "Cute." Lizina said. "Oooh, let me see!" Maud squealed, she reached for it. "Maud, wait!" Yvain said, but Lizina handed to Maud and she took it to look at the you, "Oh, I remember these when I was a kid! This is so cool." exclaimed Maud. "Press the button, maybe it plays music." Lizina said. Maud was bouncing up and down, "OK, I feel like a kid again!" She said happily. Maud pressed the button but instead of any tingling music of sparkles, there was instead a creepy laugh. And then it stopped. Maud's mood changed to a frightful look. "What was that?" Yvain asked. "That wasn't any music." said Bennu. "Sounded like a creepy laugh." Esfandyar said. "Ack, that can't be good." Hijiro said with a grimace. Just then, there was a horribly, blood curdling scream: "AAAHHH!" Maud was the one screaming and she dropped the toy. Androcles came over to her, "What, what?" He asked. Maud pointed the toy wand, "There's something underneath the foil." She said while trembling in fear. "Let me see." Androcles said, he reached over to the toy and lifted the foil. He and the others were startled to see what it was. "Oh man, that looks demonic! A girl hurting herself." He said. "That is disturbing." Yvain remarked. "You don't see that every day." Esfandyar replied. Bennu was disgusted, "Who would want to put that in a child's toy?" He asked. "Who is this girl?" Lizina asked. "Who cares! She looks possessed!" Nikita said. Androcles shake his head in dismay, "Ugh, put it away!" He said. Maud threw it down, "Now I'm scared." She said. Maud looked upset, Lizina put an arm around her and looked at her sympathetically, "Sorry Maud." She said. Maud nodded sadly, "It's OK." She said. Just then, someone came from behind and grabbed Lizina. "So you think you could escape!"  said a voice. It was Wister from False Indigo. With the rest of his posse. "Let me go!!!" Lizina cried, trying to struggle of his grip. "Hey, let go of her!" called Androcles. Wister noticed Androcles and smirked, "Oh, Lizina! Who's the boy here? Cute isn't he?" He remarked. "He's just a friend!" Lizina objected. Wister laughed, "Oh, you're such a heifer! A call girl, a flooz!" Yvain glares at Wister, "Stop it!" He said. "Cut it out, this isn't funny!" Hijiro said. Wister glared at them, "Oh, you want funny? I'll give her funny!!!!" Wister cried. He begin to tear off Lizina's clothes off, Lizina covered her curvaceous body and looked ashamed. Androcles couldn't believe that this jerk was doing this to poor Lizina. The others of False Indigo were laughing but it was nervous kind and they looked uncomfortable. Turms could feel his heart pumping and felt his blood boiling. It was just like they did to poor Lizina! "Oh gracious!" Maud cried, Nikita was shocked by this. "Please, stop!" She begged. "This isn't funny anymore, Wister!" Turms cried. "It's funny to me, look at her body--This is what I call a flooz! I mean, look at the jiggle physics on her melon chest there! Big and beautiful but that's what I call a--" ranted Wister. Just then, there was a big bang that startled everyone! Wister glared at Turms, "Turms!!! What did you do?"  Wister cried. Turms put a finger to his lips, "Wait for it..." He said. There was an eerie silence and then the Pretas appeared. "AAAAAHHHHHH, THE PRETAS!!!! THE PRETAS!!!!" cried one of the members of False Indigo. "RUN!!!!" cried the second. False Indigo were running and were expecting to see Androcles and the others running too but were shocked to see them still standing from afar. That's when it came down on Wister: "THEY'RE ATTACKING US?! NOOOOOOO!!!!!" screamed Wister. He looked over to see Androcles and the others, "HELP US....HELP USSSSSSS!" begged Wister. The Pretas were advancing on them as they screeched, "AUUGGHHHH!" The horror of them were completely destroyed. It was shocking for the rest of Androcles and the others seeing False Indigo being crumbled by the Pretas in the most grisly manner. Once it was over, and the Pretas was gone, everyone just sat there as they try to process what just happened. "Oh goodness, I can't believe you did that Turms." Lizina said, breaking the silence. Turms sighed and dropped the gun he shot to summon the Pretas, "I can't believe it either, but I had to do something. I didn't want Wister to go further  at...You know." He said. "Right." Lizina said with a nod. "Nice thinking." Androcles remarked. Turms smiled, "Thanks." He said. "Thanks Turms." Lizina said, she was about to hug him but Turms gently pushed her away. "Whoa, whoa. Don't hug me all exposed. Oooh, look what I got--A shirt, pants...undies...and a...bra?" He said, handing her clothes. Lizina giggled, "Thank you." She relieved and was about to unfold her clothes but noticed Androcles and the others as she then said, "Excuse me." She covered her naked body with a sheet and took her clothes to change with some privacy. 

After it was over; Roxanne was determined to find Cassandra: "Hold on, Cassandra Endymion, I will find you!" She vowed. And that was a promise she'll keep! On entertainment newscast called StarChamp where Devnet reads of the tragedies and past lives of famous singers: Monna Lisle was in a state of sentiment of wanting back someone who got away, she has conflicted feelings and wants her man to give her a sign. She’s addicted to her lover––the only reason she’s alive is because of him. She knows that love is a crazy thing and when it gets a hold of you, it’s easy to see, think and feel nothing but your object of affection. The one she loves is not going to want for anything. she is by herself as she is feeling lonely is when we think about the one she loves. It’s also when it hurts the most because it’s her and her thoughts. She obsessed with a guy, but can’t quite think of what he is doing to grab her attention and lust. Monna never felt a passion like this, and has never felt this way before. She is in mad love with this guy. But now she needs conformation that he loves her too. Otherwise, all her love would’ve been a waste of time and energy. She can’t stop tossing & turning at the thought of this boy. Monna has yet to ask this boy out, but he’s grabbed her full attention. She likes this guy and probably really wants to be with him but it seems she’s the type who just wants to be sure that everything’ll be alright. He’s probably trying to convince her to start a relationship with him, telling her that they’ll be happy together, they’ll love each other forever and so on, beautiful things like those. She surely is tainted but not tainted enough to fully believe him so she decides that she needs time. If he really wants to be in a relationship with her, he should take his time to know her very well first, to know what it’s like to be her. Though, this might take him some time. He choses to seduce Monna in the hope that she will do better, fire will cause ice to melt thus creating water which easily flows. It's how good soda tastes where also at the same time so that the other won’t leave feeling unsatisfied. She is losing soda in her can and it’s almost empty. No one else is able to satisfy her so she’s relying on him to please her. In that state; she is just remembering the good old times she had with her lover. were very much in love but something wrong happened and they’re not together anymore. She doesn’t know what really happened and wants to understand it so she can fix their relationship. If her former love was with her, she knows they’d fix their relationship and be happy again, Monna would do anything to have this guy again. She led him on however she’s not really into him even though it might seem like it. It's a representation of her losing herself and blending into everything that she does. She believes in fantasies and fairy tales not to mention the superheroes with supernatural powers. But unfortunately its unrealistic for her and it's a problem, she is not a child. she knew she was playing him it was the game. He gives her the necklace as he went through the trouble of getting it back by diving into the sea. This shows that he really cares about her. Monna, on the other hand, doesn’t really care. He needs to give up on her, she is only playing him. She’s fighting back against her management and record label who control her image and content as an artist by influencing the content of her music and making decisions for her. Monna’s grown tired of that and that’s what she means when she says she’s not a property anymore. People think that her talent as a creator is underrated, with the labels not allowing her as much creative freedom! Monna herself is amazed of how determinate she’s became. She’s ready to take her musical career in her own hands. At the beginning of her career she didn’t take it too serious. She was enjoying the fame and attention as any other teenager would do if he were in her place. Now she’s ready to build a true musical career, leaving behind teen pop. She has more experience, she is following her path. She’ll have more control, she’s standing on her own two feet! She’s stronger! Monna is ready to be a fully in control of her craft, without her management team pressurizing and influencing her decisions. She is growing up. She depicts the thinking of a girl. Because a young girl doesn’t see life the way it actually is, she sees just the good parts of it. Monna confesses that she used to see life the same way, but now she doesn’t. She is not a woman yet, but she’s also not a girl any more. She past over the phase when she was said what to do. Now she thinks for herself. She sees the world with her own eyes and she has her own vision. Even though she embraces a new image she’s still the same Monna. Now she’s just looking for who she wants to be. And she assures us that she will find her way. She is insecure. This is a difficult period in a woman’s life. All she needs is time, time to understand who she is. She has to know herself. Basically, she doesn’t know who she is. The girl she used to be is growing up and she herself doesn’t know yet who she is going to be. She needs time. But she’s confident that she’ll manage to overcome this phase and be who she is meant to be. She knows that she will find the woman in her. She is ready to become a woman and leave behind her younger image. Monna clearly has a desire, she finds him so hot, that he should wear a warning label so no other girls go burn their hands and cannot help but love the feeling she’s getting from it though. She has moral issues with her actions, she has no plans to repent, and will continue her trust with her new-found lover. Even though she knows his love is toxic she doesn’t seem to care. as she yearns for it! Now, she’s conscious that her life would change as if she become a mother. Now, as a mother, she doesn’t see the world with the same eyes. Nevertheless, she’s insecure not knowing if she’d be able to handle being a mom. That’s why she asks God to look over her. When she looks at her newborn baby it will be the truest moment!  

During those earlier times as a singer; Abbey is wondering if the guy she has feelings for, has the same feelings as her. Her man makes a scene of himself for attention, that guy who runs through the mall yelling and tries to follow trends to stand out. She could see him trying to make up for awkwardness and a skewed outlook on life by being annoying and overly flashy. Here, he takes on the thuggish, street-aware image, masking himself in fake threats and invisible enemies to seem cool. If he could only act naturally she would like him even more; When finally alone, the tough guy act falls apart, leaving the guy Abbey loves. Without people to validate his images and make his fake personalities seem necessary, his real character comes out. However, he’s changed. He’s always acting stupid just to fit in and appear cool, but when he acts like that, Abbey can’t help but see him as an idiot. Her man comes over without being invited into the group, and people notice. He isn’t dressed as they would feel most comfortable, he isn’t being cool by trying to be cool. The way he is acting and dressing makes Abbey laugh because he looks really stupid. Everyone can tell that he is pretending to be someone he's not, so he should stop it! Abbey couldn't help but wonder, why is he so stupid? She can notice that he is trying to be someone that he is not. Maybe because he is trying to fit in a new group of friends who won’t accept him as he really is. But since she has known him for a long time, she is frustrated by the fact that he intends to be different. People learns from their own mistakes and that’s exactly what she is asking him to do. She wants him to be honest and who he truly is. She makes him promise that he will never try to be someone he is not. She knew that  once upon a time, there was two people: A boy and a girl obviously. They are like night and day. She’s all high-class and proper, while he’s a few pegs down the social ladder. She liked him but she was too worried about what her friends would say. He was a punk with ripped jeans, long hair & piercings while she was the complete opposite. Because her friends judged him for being different, she rejected him. The girl thought that she was better than the skater boy and decided he wasn’t good enough for her. The girl was big headed and thought she was better than others and needs to stop being so full of herself and become more grounded and sensible. The stuck up girl’s life hasn’t turned out how she presumably thought it would. She’s now a single mother, left without her baby’s father. She turns on the TV to find that the skater boy she rejected 5 years before has been much more successful than her! Her friends are onto the now-famous skater boy who they’d all dissed 5 years ago, showing that he is now suddenly more socially desirable. At the show she sees the skater, admiringly, as a man now, who stands above her! The skater boy that the girl rejected is now a superstar. She missed her chance, her opportunity, to be with him! He’s taken now--Abbey and the skater boy are dating now. The girl missed her chance, she turned down the skater because she thought he wasn’t worth it but now she’s the loser and he’s in the higher position and can look down on her. She shouldn’t have judged a book by it’s cover. Rather than judging people by their looks, Abbey see’s the person for what is inside. And after all of this; Abbey ends up with the skater boy and their life is what the girl from the beginning could of had. Abbey is now with the skater boy, and she’s sticking it to the girl. But it ended pretty badly, Abbey was now going through dark and tough times as she wants to find love which will save her. She is so desperate that she doesn’t care who will it be, or if he’s the right person for her. She just wants someone. But there is no sight of any person coming. She’s all alone! She’s searching for anyone who’s going through the same as her. Anyone whom she can connect or confide with. Whether its a place or a face. She needs to talk. She’s looking for someone who’s familiar. She’s just had something really bad happen and she just feels so alone and unloved. The world is a confusing place; she thinks of herself as crazy. Abbey thinks she’s alone and nobody wants her. It’s cold outside and she feels alone. She wants someone to come looking for her. To prove to her that she’s loved and someone does want her. Won’t somebody come and help her in these times? She wants to leave wherever she is, whoever is it that’s facing the same things as she is, she’s with them. So, Abbey is moving to a new place and moving on. Saying goodbye to her friends and turning around as she journeys onto the next chapter of her life. In this new life; she is constantly on the move. Like how mobile homes move from trailer park to trailer park with no foundation, she is moving from place to place without really laying down her roots. No real place to belong and no real place to turn back to. She’s being real with herself and let go of trying to fit in with the others and pretend to be a part of the “TV Guide” life. Abbey knows that she’s weird, she laughs herself to sleep which is the complete opposite of what most sad people do. The adrenaline rush she gets when doing dangerous things makes her feel alive. It’s boring to do what others expect her to do. She wants to do things to the extreme. She wants people to push her to edge just to feel alive! Whatever people would do, they don’t think. But couldn't help to wonder, "Is dying enough to be out of the ordinary?" She doesn’t want to be like everyone else. She’d rather be individual and have people call her 'weird' than be like everyone else. When meeting with someone she has a crush on; Abbey knows he can tell she’s nervous and she’s blushing and she’s trying to hide it. She is nervous that he might pick up that she’s trying to be perfect but hell this guy is worth being perfect for her. She feels that if she tells him how she feels he’s just going to reject her and all her feelings were for nothing but if she doesn’t tell him his never going to figure it out so why doesn’t she just tell him that she cares about him! She keeps wanting to say something but she can’t get it out and it just spuds like she’s trying to come up with something to say. She feels like she’s dreaming of things and wishing the will happen but she thinks she has to tell him for him to figure it out but she’s never going to say it: Abbey wants to tell him she wants to blow his mind, he wants him to purpose to her, she wishing things would happen and they will define the rest of her life but she’s never going to say what she wants. In the life of being a singer-songwriter; Abbey wants people to be able to recognize that she’s genuine and real, not fake. If they don’t like her personality, then they should just straight up tell her instead of trying to manipulate her and turn her into who they want her to be. People in the industry are trying to get her to change and trying to tell Abbey what to do, but she doesn’t want that. She’s overwhelmed by this feeling of loneliness that she’s never quite experienced before up until now. She’s basically making a cry for help now, wanting someone to take her loneliness away. She’s looking back on her relationship with this guy that was never fully developed because of his love for smoking marijuana which he obviously thought was more important than his feelings for her and her feelings for him. She now realizes how lame he really was for rejecting her and choosing to do more drugs instead. Abbey was really convinced that she liked this guy a lot but he lost her trust and her respect after going back on his word and not bothering to keep in contact with her. He stopped putting in the effort so now she’s no longer cool with him. She thought how all of them are the same in that they aren’t interested in having serious relationships. She could also just be addressing his friend group or guys in general. After all, most guys, at least when they are teenagers, are basically all the same, in that they are immature and don’t know what they really want or realize what girl is really good for them. Basically, these kinds of boys don’t know a good thing until it's gone. Oh, one can only hope that leaving a person alone for a time can help them realize what they’re missing. Unfortunately, the guy Abbey had feelings for never bothered to try and get her back which makes her think even more lowly of him. Essentially, she feels cheated and disappointed after her tactic of ignoring him didn’t produce the outcome that she wanted. Looking back on it now, it’s very apparent that her love interest didn’t care at all about her ignoring him and continued to do the same to her, instead of reading the signs and making an attempt to win her back. She now knows that she doesn’t want to see his face ever again, as long as he continues to ignore her and not make any efforts to talk to her and apologize for his actions. His silence shows that he doesn’t in fact care about her and that he is not interested in continuing their relationship. All he cares about is his self image, he cares about his appearance and his reputation a lot, more than how people like Abbey see him for who he really is. And right now she’s accusing him of lying to himself because life really isn’t all about your image and your reputation if only he could see that. Once this guy realizes that he was wrong, Abbey will still be hanging around, waiting for him, if he’s willing to own up to his mistakes and work on building a relationship with her. If not, then she’ll leave him and move on. He doesn’t have a sense of humor, which irritates her, and she’s tired of trying to bring some life into him and get him out of this “life sucks” mentality. She doesn’t feel like she’s asking for much from him but she asks herself and him the question anyway. The vast majority of young people dislike being alone and are always looking for that next relationship to jump into. In order to live a worthwhile life, you need to stop looking in the mirror and constantly asking yourself what’s wrong with the way you look or who you are as a person--She will always be there watching him from a distance, waiting to see if he will own up to his past wrongful actions or if he simply never acknowledges them. Either way, she will go on with or without him. This guy’s pride gets in the way of everything. Yet, at the same time he is extremely insecure. He doesn’t think nor does he apparently want any girl to love him because deep down he doesn’t even like himself. However, he plays it cool and tries to act tough and Abbey finds this annoying because all she wants is for him to loosen up and be himself. She doesn’t like it when all he does is moan and takes himself way too seriously. In the morning; she’s putting on her make up and her fake smile that’ll help her get through the day. Nowadays that she thinks about, it doesn’t matter what kind of person she is inside, only thing that matters is how she looks. She thinks about life as a game where you have to act like everyone else and be like them to get accepted. Then, this other guy came around and took down all her emotional walls of protection leaving her vulnerable to his eye and giving him access to all her emotions. She can hide her emotions or feeling he made her trust him, she’s trying to remember why she hid the real her and why she didn’t let everyone see the real her. She sees him as the love she needed to help her show everyone who she really is he helps her fully become herself! That's when Abbey can’t hide anymore he sees her and all of her emotions and feelings she’s never fully trusted someone like she does this guy she wonders if he can tell she won’t be able to hide anything and it just feels right like he’s the guy that makes her feel right. She feels exposed around this guy like he can see all of her she thinks he’s going to be able to read her every though and feeling! 

When she turned to her late teens and early 20's; Abbey feels like she can't be with the one she loves. Sometimes as she is by herself she feels better. Reality is a hard thing to face when you begin to think about it. Abbey feels like she is just acting, and is not being real. When Abbey is on her own, she can think clearly, and let her guard down. However when she's around him, she can’t keep her emotions in check, and falls apart. She’s not going to sleep with him just because he’s giving her attention, it will take more than that to get her into bed. If he tries to have his way with her, she’ll make sure he gets the message that she’s not interested in that! And  it gets worst. It’s just another boring day, it’s getting late Saturday night and soon enough it will be Monday again. The day everyone hates. He hasn’t texted or called her, he didn’t have manners like opening the door for her, he never made her feel special like she was his and this just wasn’t the type of guy she was looking for in life. She could feel the emotion of being nervous as she biting her nails! When nothing else seems to happen she will just start cleaning her room to get her mind off things. She thinks it’s just time for her to leave the relationship because from her point of view of it, it’s tasteless and boring. She learned something out of this: We’ve all got the right to stand up for ourselves and state what’s on our mind and how we feel so stand up make some noise and feel better. In this miserable life of love and heartbreak; everyone in life is just getting on with their own life and minding their own business. There is so much going on and so many people around her she feels insignificant. She’s admitting her weaknesses and that she gets tired and affected by things as well. Abbey thought she found her big love to spend all her life with. But now she realizes it won´t turn out like a fairy tale happy ending. She wants to talk out the problem instead of ignoring it and being quiet about it. She is wanting to know if the cause of the argument was all her fault. A relationship is easily breakable. Even the biggest lovers can turn into strangers in a matter of seconds. She has the feeling that she will crash on the ground when their relationship breaks apart. She only had eyes for him. All her efforts went for their future. She neglected other things because of that and that´s why she only knows him anymore. His friends are just one of the things that brought their relationship down, she wants a serious relationship with him and she makes everything to maintain that. His friends are difficult too, that she isn’t the only one and they shouldn’t be judging her anyways because they don’t even know her. when he’s with his friends he can pretends to be someone else. Apparently he had secrets she was not aware of. As these secrets can leave both with mistrust it is a big relationship killer. She was played by the guy, he told her all the things girls want to hear! "You are the only one that I wanted...." She thought to herself. And she knew it--There is only one person you are meant to spend your whole life with and many people will never find this person for them. She found him, but they made a mistake and missed their opportunity. She had many of these memories with him. But as their relationship breaks apart their memories loose their colors and become to cold pictures she doesn´t want to think of. Apparently she misunderstood his intentions. For her he was the big love. But for him she was just a girlfriend out of many. She feels like this girl, she feels lost, and does not know which path to go. Her hands are tied, there’s nothing to do for herself, every day there’s a new reason to cry about, and eventually the problems stack so high that she can’t take it anymore. She's been broken so bad that she is lost and trying to find her way back home, she wants to find a place to cry, or simply take a break from being strong, but with herself lost and no one to lean on, that place is lost with her. Abbey never shows her feelings she keeps them inside, her life is a series of constant failures, which piles on depression and stress. She learns that when we are constantly stressed out, ad mentally beaten and bruised, we lose ourselves. When we lose ourselves, it may appear that we have gone crazy. She is spread out too thin, being all over the place. As she was broken by some sort of rejection, and now can’t return to the state of stability, or even sanity, she just fades away. Abbey in that sense, she  just went insane! She doesn’t care anymore she is completely done with herself and life too. He messed her up he never treated her like how a real man should treat a woman. People say she needs to get over it and be strong, although she knows she needs to do that she can’t bring herself to do it now. She just needs to leave and be by herself she can’t take it anymore and there’s no point in remembering anything in the past it’s too late and there’s nothing she could do. What’s done is done. She just wants to get away from him and everything. She’s told him everything that she needed but he’s seems to have forgotten her but she won’t let that happen. Ever again. She knows that he didn’t really forget about everything she needed. She knows that he never really cared and that she never really mattered to him. Luckily, she has a boy who is a friend but now she begins to see as something more. For instance; she will essentially come back to him even after a conflict or problem in their relationship that makes her turn away. Then, he apologies for things he has said or done, actions in the past that he can’t undo. If things go the way Abbey wants, the relationship won’t end, and therefore Abbey won’t have to get over him and move on. She is possibly falling in love and is finally getting over her former lover! He can’t tell her what to do at all she goes by her own rules and doesn’t care not one but what anyone thinks at all. No matter how bad they think she’s ruining her life she isn’t she’s fine. Her motto is, that life is to things the best you can, even if they’re not up to other people’s standards. If someone tries to tell Abbey otherwise, she’ll start a fight and defend herself. No matter how many times they tell Abbey what to do, she won’t listen, and will keep doing what she likes. Abbey feels the need to act the way she wants, and do things her way. Sometimes she just needs to let out all the emotions she gets from people telling her what to do. Abbey is going to shut herself out from the world, because she doesn’t like seeing time pass, and wants to be oblivious. She may freak out by screaming, yelling, or just getting mad. Either way, it helps her cope with everyday troubles. Since the loss of her grandfather; she wrote something for him: To tell him that she he misses him who passed away so soon. How she’ll never forget him because she is so greatly saddened by the death of him. She hopes he can hear what she is saying, she remembers of him very vividly! She didnt get to say goodbye to this person which makes her even more upset. She wants to see this person one last time but she knows she can't because they're gone. Abbey expresses that she is realizing that this is real life. She wants her granddad to come back. She's confused on why this person had to die, she can't stand what is going on and is realizing that the person is really gone. That he has died and is going somewhere and she knows she can't get them back. She realized that her life will never be the same again because of the loss of him and that she misses him and ends it there so she will remember him as well as move on with her life. 

In her 20's; Abbey begins to start to get vicious as she tries to get the guy’s attention just so she can say, “Your girl sucks, get with me! No way you can date her, I’m way better disapproving." If any guy has a girl like this, she’s either crazy, or deeply in love with him. She can do it better, she’s the best, and she thinks that everyone knows it. She knows that she knows she's so gorgeous! Abbey wants to date could do much better and she thinks she’s hotter than the other girl. Other people think they should go out, which is most likely a rumor she spread to give him more reason to dump his girl. The boy is looking at her, where Abbey says to him: "Hey, I know you like me, even though you have a restraining order against me!" She wants him to dump his girl and ask her out. Making the other girl disappear, by breaking up with her. In moments, she will seduce him to the point of his loss of will, from the desire of lust. She can do whatever the hell she wants and she can do it better than anyone else. She’s second to none, and is wondering how the subject of the song ended up with a girl that’s so normal. Abbey doesn’t care about the guys judgements on her, she won’t let him bring her down. She’s decided not to bother with him because no matter what she says he’s going to believe what he thinks. After a breakup she thought she would find herself running back to him or missing him, but she realised she doesn’t need him in her life and she can move on. The next morning, she knew this day is going to be bad. She knows she is already deep shit, nobody can’t make her any more angrier! She can’t help but still feel alive. Abbey may be against the world but she’s still winning. Everyone knows that life can be a bitch! She just wants to let go of everything, stop caring and just runaway. Abbey wants to be treated like a lady, and she doesn’t feel like guys want to treat her this way, it looks to bad that she’s the one paying for drinks. She thought to herself: "Where are times when men would actually act to nice to women?" She’s hoping for a fairytale, he hates it when a guy doesn’t get that girls have a moment on a certain time of a month. However, she’s the best that he’ll ever get! In her longing for love; Abbey always wanted to be independent. Now she is, and feels like she needs support from the one she loves. They days go by so slowly because she’s not used to being alone when she always had someone with her. She is getting new feelings about being alone. Whenever she does something she can relate it to them all the time. She notices many details about them, and she wants to know if they realize that she misses them. The person basically stole her heart when they left. They either left forever or changed into a different person with a completely different personality that wasn’t like theirs before. They said comforting things to her to help her through her problems. Everything was normal for her until life came crashing down to her. Abbey's former boyfriend has sent her a crappy little post card that reeks of cheap perfume. She knows he’s being unfaithful while he’s away. Her boyfriend went off with a another girl, she is pissed that her boyfriend would so carelessly tell her he’s cheating on her, and right now, all boys are stupid. All of her friends felt like from the start there was something off about this guy, and now she’s seeing it, and she’s angry. That all changed when she came across something that made her wake up and realizes that she actually feels OK. It’s like the first time that she felt this kind of happiness since she was a kid. Abbey looks around the room and for the first time in a while, she notices the beautiful aspects of life, she feels so fresh and renewed, it feels like she was born again. She feels so happy after all the time she spent feeling so numb. Abbey has isolated her self from every one else, and now she has no emotion because there is no one to make her feel happy or sad. But at least she feels safe from the outside world. And she belongs by her self and having connection with other humans will result badly. She wants to believe that she will be happier if she is alone. Now that she has broken out of that place, she feels happy instead of just numb, and now she can honestly say that she wasn’t living before, and now that she is living, she feels more alive and happy. In that very moment, she feels like anything is possible as she feels that the innocence she’s trying to indicate to everyone! Abbey feels as happy as a child could. The feeling of appreciating the little things in life and not thinking about complicated things is great, she hopes that joy that she is feeling will stay; she doesn’t want to go back into depression. In that moment, she feels like she is flying above the clouds and chasing the stars. She is thinking about the man that she loves, and desperately needing him to be with her right now. Abbey will do what ever she can to stay positive and not let the depression get to her again. 

Meet with other people; Abbey is familiar with the money grubbing type of girls, how she only cares about dating boys, possibly for money and doesn’t care about the boys she dates or her relationship with them. She’s not who she says she is and she’s lying to him, maybe about her intentions or what she’s like or what kind of person she’s dated in the past. She knows the girl is talking to the guy only because she knows he is rich. If he wasn’t, she wouldn’t waste her time to him. He seems to be in love with this girl and doesn´t listen to Abbey. She can just hope he sees the truth before it's too late. She’s gone to make him never want to be with a girl again well that’s what they say they’ve been together a while and his in denial that she’s playing him but now she gone and she’s used him! She’s so beautiful boys will just feel like dying, she knows that relationships are just a game for this type of girls. That type of girls only tell you what you want to hear to get what they want. The girl is so good at what she does, it’s not the fault of the man who got played. It’s the gold digger he should blame, not himself. She’s a hot mess she’s trouble but her beauty draws all the guys in she may be using him for all the money he has and she’s hot trouble, she’ll be with the next guy she’s going to play she’s done it so many times she knows exactly how to get away with it! She’ll play you like she really cares and loves you and when she leaves to play the next guy! When the girl has done her thing, she leaves the guy and finds another guy to play with. But Abbey is so much different from all the rest and thinks this guy she is with is amazing: His aura is so contagious she gets high off of him, and he’s all she thinks about. She wants to prove everyone wrong and get with this guy, because everyone else thinks they aren’t good for each other. She can give him anything his heart desires if he asks her. Abbey wants to prove to him that she is the perfect girl for him and she’ll be good to him. During that time, she is comforting people, letting them know that they are not alone in what they are going through. When life gets hard, and it feels like it's time this person wants to give up, everything will work out eventually, nothing's going to change destiny except for anyone who is control of it. Sometimes people are left with nothing to say or do to change this bad situation, because the truth has been said and there's no other way, but somebody still have to hold on to life because it is not the end. But then, this guy who is perfect for her is making her feel like crap so now it's her turn to play games with him! He thought she was playing hard to get, just because she  kissed his friend on the mouth!  If love is true, it hurts because of the sacrifices are made in the name of love, and if love is really just lust, then it hurts from the betrayal! To hell with responsibility, she can just do whatever the hell she wants. Her love life is none of his business, he never pays attention to her, so why does he care? She would rather go out than wait on him to show up, Abbey needs some time to fool around. Messing around with him is what she likes most from the boy. She’s manipulating him! The guy doesn’t want the girl to leave him, she doesn’t care…she is still gonna mess around. She needs a break from a serious relationship. She’s been a good girl all her life but now she realized what the hell?! She decides that she's gonna screw love, because all she wants is to mess around! She doesn’t care how he feels about her. Abbey doesn’t care whether you love her or you hate her, she’ll continue to do what she wants to do. Suddenly she’s changed, while he’s begging her to stay with him; but she wants to go crazy and have a fun time. All her life she’s been a good girl, now she wants to change that. Abbey doesn’t want a relationship. All she wants is have fun, she really couldn’t care less about her boy's feelings. As she has all this pent up playfulness and desire, there’s no point in attempting to stop her. She is tired of being the good girl. It’s time to have fun. She basically wants to wreak havoc the only way she knows how, by being a bit promiscuous. Abbey has been a good girl all the time and now she just wants to let loose have fun and mess around a little bit so she is clearly tired and now couldn’t care less. Abbey is in a relationship with a guy who she feels is clingy to the point of annoyance. This is obviously their second go at a relationship together and she feels his clinging is what ruined it in the past. She feels their relationship deserves to be given a chance. She’s tried stressing this issue to him but for some reason or another he’s not getting it, and she’s struggling to find words that will make him understand. If they’re meant to be together god will guide him on the right path to make the right decisions in there relationship. She enjoys her time with him imagines a future together. She wants to make it clear that while she wants him she doesn’t need him and she won’t put up with his stuff if he screwed up. When things get hard it’s going to take both of them to work out the issues of their relationship. That’s how love works. Although, Abbey can be tough and strong and build walls to keep people out and put on a mask for the public. But she does not feel like she has to act when she is with him. She’s tough and doesn’t show her feelings but he can get through to her and see her feelings, she misses him so much and doesn’t want him to change even though they might have already. They always said the truth no matter what it was, if they hated a person, they didn’t talk behind their backs, they said it straight up, if they were in trouble, they knew it. She doesn’t want to let go because the relationship was so good, everything she is thinking about. She’s clawing and gripping for everything that she remembers about him because she doesn’t want to forget.  This guy is always running through her mind and is all over the place, but in that moment she wishes that he was there even though Abbey might have no idea what the hell to say or what the hell to do, she just wishes that he was there with her. She did some crazy stuff with her lover, she’s thinking what she had to do to have other people with her. Damn, she’d do anything to have him here with her. She’d do anything just to smile at him again! Sadly, saying goodbye to someone she loves is very hard and she cannot hide the fact that she has to go. She has to go away from her love but she wants her love to know that she loves them so. It's hard to say goodbye and leave someone she loves for a long time. She is trying to stay distracted from the fact she has to leave someone she loves. Trying to get her mind off him; she is singing a lullaby to herself because she cannot sleep because the person she loves most is not laying beside her. The world knows that she is a crazy, she does every thing she wants that comes to her mind. All she wants is to lose control of herself and let go! She has a friend that doesn’t care what she does so she later decides how much she can do before he cares. She got really drunk, and now it’s her friend's fault again. It’s been a while since she’s with friends, the thought of being with her friends make her smile. Just listening to music is nothing new — it’s where Abbey and her friends can sing along that well on the highest volume — but also, going a little deeper into it while young people fall in love. Acting like a kid and pretending not to grow up, Abbey takes the same approach to life, getting drunk off of anything sitting around and having fun with friends all night. No pressure, no bars, no plan. Their singing and being happy and will never grow up. They love being young. She's calling all her friends to party. Simultaneously full of youth and aware of the reality of adulthood, Abbey is caught between wanting to stay a kid forever and wanting to have the world of an adult open. Continuing the classic phase of every child, she’s still trying to blindly hope for endless fun and energy while already outside of the world she grew up in. Covering the sadness of reality makes it better. They won’t ever stop being themselves and they won’t ever change, she wants to be with him forever and wants to be his forever all he has to do is say the words. They are free and wild and don’t give a damn about anything or anyone, they just want to live the moment and respond to all the glares. Abbey doesn’t care and she will salute like a soldier because she doesn’t give a damn. They don’t want to grow and have to face the real world, they just want to live for the moment and make the best of their teenage years. They perform shows in all the bars. This is what they are and they really don’t ever want to change the way they are or how they act. People who call themselves adults are telling them to grow up when in reality they don’t want to they want to enjoy and live life while their young, they won’t change who they are for anyone and they sure as hell don’t give a damn! Abbey doesn’t care what she looks like to other people, she’s going to keep doing what she wants. But her friend obviously doesn’t care either and loves her for how she is. Abbey would rather not fit in than be fake! Through all these years her fans still love the self proclaimed pop-rock princess. To her credit, she has never changed and has stayed true to what she does. She learns something important from this is: We all have that one special person who we’re different towards to. We act different and everything around you is different around them. It’s not a bad feeling, it’s actually a feeling everyone wants. With this person, you could be yourself around them and they would accept you because they just don’t care. it’s actually a feeling everyone wants. As teenagers, all that’s really on your mind to have fun and to live to live, not to survive. Abbey’s living in the moment. When she talks about getting out of this town one day, it’s either a good thing or a bad thing. It’s could be a good thing because she might be living in a bad time and in some way, she’ll escape that time with someone she wants to take with her. It’s could be a bad thing because she’s living in the moment and probably doesn’t care about the consequences in the end. Living in the moment makes you care-free and reckless and you know moments don’t last forever. You’ll be out of that time one day. That’s how the story goes. Nothing, good or bad, lasts forever. She isn’t gonna change who she is. She will never cover up a tattoo or change her personality just because some people don’t consider it politically correct. Everybody is concerned about reputation today. She does not care, it’s different being with this person, because he knows what Abbey wants and what she cares for. He will be here for the rest of her story, because he was there for the past. Abbey and her gang don’t give a damn— they started and continue their own brand of rock ‘n roll! Abbey is known to be wild and do her own thing even if some people don’t agree with it. She and her friends don’t stop partying until they’ve caused some sort of disturbance that causes the police to intervene, otherwise they wouldn’t even realize that they’re being loud and annoying people because they’re only concerned with having a good time. Abbey's not going to let anything stop her from enjoying herself. Whether it’s her car running out of gas, or her phone dying, nothing's going to stop her summer.
Abbey wants his arms to feel save and that she’s his girl, she promises to give him sex if he’ll give her the illusion of intimacy, if he’ll make her feel loved. If he will give her what she needs then she’ll give him what he likes, she wants his attention to forget as he he wants her in bed with him. She wants feel special, she is asking him to pretend he loves her, if only for one night. Abbey always felt lonely but now this is past as she always felt lonely but now this is past. If he gives her attention, she will give him a hot night! She alludes herself when the lights go out she can pretend they’re making love, he shouldn’t stop doing it and will give the guy what he likes. Abbey just want his temporary love as she is going to temporarily take these feeling she has for him and imagine that it’s love in order to feel loved for the time they are together. As well as have him feel a certain way to give her those feelings. The guy never had the feeling, If he can’t make her feel loved them he’ll get what he deserves meaning she won’t have to be with him and he’ll get nothing. When it’s dark in the room, she falls in love with him but she’s not really sure if this is really love, but she hopes it will be someday. Abbey imagines that they’re in love but she doesn’t know how this love will end, and even it is love. Her mind wanders as she imagines all the possibilities she hopes to gain by being with him. She tells him to turn out the lights and she has to be with him, as she is about to give up on him if he doesn’t recognize her really worth. She’ll let him hold her if he’ll show her one last act of kindness, the morning after the night and the end comes as she has done what he wanted. Everything she always wanted was to forget something! Now that she gotten what she wants, she wants to forget it happened; whether it’s because: she feels ashamed, used, or because she simply has to move on with life.  Because now in this relationship used to be very meaningful to her but now that it’s over it doesn’t mean anything to her. The relationship is so forgotten that there isn’t any trace of it at all anymore. Even though their relationship ended, she still hasn’t forgotten how they broke up and goes back to the sadness of it. There’s nothing her lover can say and it’s too late to say it. She’s trying to get rid of what happened in her past relationship and let go of all her past memories. There was nothing when she found him. The place she went back was gone along with the guy’s memory. The relationship meant a lot to him and he wished that they could’ve stayed together. Nothing can make them go back to the way they were before because words are too late to mend everything now. Even though she has had trouble in the past with this relationship, and has let go before, she’s not going to let go this time because she believes that she can lead a better life by not letting go, and it will go different than last time. Abbey has changed her previous hypothesis on love and now believes that it's never too late, reflecting how she feels with the love of her life and the faith she has despite her previous relationships not working out. she has let go her past and has broken free from the memories that held her back. They don’t want to let each other go because they each finally found the one they love and the don’t want to lose each other.

Morena Goldstone can remember what the world was like when she was little: It was so peaceful and different than it is now that she is older and knows more. As she got older she learned that the world is not such a perfect place and there’s death, war as well as a lot of truly awful things. She wants her old life back. It seems to be an unfair trade as she gave up her childhood and was rewarded with the cold hard truth of life. Morena wants things the way they were when she believed everything was all flowers and songs and she knew nothing about the bad things. She’s just thinking about how great it was and how it isn’t any longer. She’s looking for the old her and finds herself but now she is a stranger to herself. The child in her no longer recognizes the person she’s become all thanks to the bad influence of the world. She prays to the Savior in Heaven: "O Yahweh, King most wonderful thou Conqueror renowned thou Sweetness most ineffable in whom all joys are found."  She knows somebody who really is quite full of and hiding who they really are. Morena has realized who they really are, and obviously doesn’t like it if they’d say about it in such a way. She is stuck and there’s nothing that anyone can do about it, the person is in denial that they can see right through them, realizing they are scared to death to leave they’re own little world — in denial that this person can see what they’re secretly needing because nobody else seems to. They will need to deal with themselves on their own. She created a story about a woman who loved her husband very much, but he died suddenly. She’s so torn apart and can’t accept the fact that he is dead. She follows the moonlight until she finds the grave where her husband lays. She’s so grieved, that she goes to the graveyard and digs him up and takes him home with her. They are are going away this night, and if anyone finds out they will stop them. So, by morning they will be on their way to anywhere, because they don’t know where they’re going. After writing the story; Morena thought about the love she had as she still loves this man and is fighting to stay with him, even if it does mean being lied to again. She goes through an emotionally abusive relationship with someone that she’s in love with. The relationship seems very much one way, in that Morena keeps throwing hurtful lies to the other half, and the male lyrics are saying that their instinct says to get out. She feels empty because she is focusing on herself too much and worrying about how everything will affect her. She has been pretending to not see someone, hurting themselves for awhile, and is finally saying something to them. That person is totally contradicting themselves there, they want to hide their habits, yet they are screaming for help as well. Maybe they wanted someone to see what they were doing to themselves. They did catch Morena and convinced her not to say anything, although the second version makes sense with everything else. Either way, she didn’t know what to do or say at first, and turned away, convincing herself that it was all a lie and when she woke up she would find it was nothing but a dream. She was told in the dream, "We’re going to live, and we’re going to die, but you don’t get to decide when."  She has to go to someone and get help for them. Morena is trying to convince them that by letting people know what she knows, she will be helping them in the end. She is afraid of them in a way. She’s terrified that by going to someone, they would hate her and with that, their friendship would be gone. Morena is going back and remembering that first time again. She’s remembering the person telling her it isn’t what it seems and it’s not what she thinks. Morena convinces herself that it’s all in her head. This couldn’t be happening in her life. The person wouldn’t do such a thing to themselves, so it has to be some kind of nightmare. Amy lets her fears about what could happen overtake her, and would rather live out her lie and pretend everything is okay even though she knows it is not.

Since this friend is so perceptive, it may be like he knows what is inside of her, rather than just seeing. Morena's spirit is taking a break, leaving her feeling empty and numb inside. That is until the person who sees right through her wakes it up and takes it home. She is feeling lonely and depressed until this person reaches out to her and makes her feel alive again. This guy is now her life line. He is her only chance to escape the numbness she feels. He can’t leave her, not now. Now that she sees how bad her life is, she wants to wake up from her delusions of happiness so that she can fix everything. Everyone wears a mask of some sort, but if you leave that mask on for too long, you forget your own face. This verse emphasizes that she can’t remember who she is, as she was caught up with who she was supposed to be. Without him, she has no reason to live—he is the torch that warms her heart and brings happiness into her life. He brings her dead spirit to life. And this friend can’t believe that she’s been in this depression this whole time, and he hasn’t noticed at all. She herself is still not quite sure about the depression she’s going through and she need to realize what she is honestly going through. She has lost herself, she doesn’t want to die a stranger to herself. It was a desperate cry for help. She has pretended to be happy for so long that she doesn’t even know true happiness. She’s in an unwanted reality, and she can’t wake up. She is crying out to the Lord of Heavens, to save her from what she’s going through! She wants him to help her feel alive by bidding her blood to run throughout her body. For so long, she has felt nothing but emptiness. She is pleading for someone to open her eyes to joy before she completely loses all hope. Now she’s going to tell him all that she has done for him, which includes crying immensely over him. She has been doing her best to try to get him to listen — screaming, deceiving and bleeding for him. Even after all that he still will not listen. She does not want his help this time, maybe never again. Why would she? After he has tormented her daily even when she had thought he would stop and she was at wits end. He is messing with her mind. He is giving her misconceptions and making it harder to believe in herself, making it harder for her to keep fighting him. What a jerk! He can scream and torment her all he wants but she is going to escape from him. She can’t keep being suffocated by him,she needs to breathe. She is metaphorically rising out of the sea of pain he has caused her. She is losing her will to fight against the abuse, but she knows she has to break away from his hold on her, so she continues to fight. After feeding her misconceptions and lies she finds herself almost giving up again. She can’t keep living like this with him in control of her. She must escape from his power before she gives up because she cannot take anymore of living like this. She will no longer take this anymore and will be free from her prison. She has had enough of the pain and torment of being in this relationship and is ready to get out of her prison as she won’t live like this anymore. As a continuation of the last line, she won’t be dealing with the pain of the relationship anymore and she will be free to live her life. Morena as a singer, she hated how the entertainment world chastising the idolization of celebrities as perfect. Morena is now aware of the fact that she never was and never will be;  it was a world full of fake, cheesy, female cracker-box idols! There is a lot of people in this industry. It’s so fake, the whole famous thing. It’s all fake and it’s really hurting a lot of girls' and women’s self images. The mask the protagonist is speaking of is the mask of public relations and the mass concerning one’s self image in regard to media perception. And nobody will ever save the person from being a celebrity; the loss of identity that comes with it, the temptations, only they will be able to fight them as other celebrities who have given into the loss of identity and become obsessed with the spotlight are now simply the puppets of others, or the fool everybody laughs at! She’s in love with a guy, that was her close friend, but they knew that a relationship between them couldn’t work well, so he had to leave. But, she’s not able to let him go. She’s tormented by thoughts of him daily, and she knows she’s being childish by holding onto his memory this long, but she feels she needs to have him with her until the memories leave by themselves. Her emotional wounds won’t get better, and it hurts so bad emotionally that she thinks she can physically feel it, and that there’s too much time that she’s put into this thing that it’s unable to be erased as she and this guy were very close, and losing him was like losing a part of her. Time can’t erase the wounds of her loss, and she doesn’t know it but she’s opening the wounds by holding on to him. She loved him very much, and cared deeply about him. Then, he left her, and she became nothing. She never realized how much she needed him until the day he left, and she can’t stop wanting him back, her mind is slowly slipping into insanity. 

Memories of him are slowly driving her insane. Images of him haunt her, and she hears his voice in her mind. She can’t help needing him, but she is desperately trying to hang on to what she has left of her sanity. She is beginning to realize that he never cared about her, and she tries to tell herself that he’s not worth her tears, but she can’t stop believing that he was innocent. She was too in love to see his flaws, and that is what is leading to her downfall. She knows that their relationship had been a bad idea from the beginning, and she’d had to protect him from his fears, and she never got anything back, but she unwittingly gave all of herself to him. And now that he’s gone, she can’t live knowing that he’s not here. When she was around 8 or 9 in a little white Easter dress, that is walking down a neighborhood street bouncing a little red ball. As she approaches an obviously deserted large house with a sinister demeanor, her attention moves from the ball to the house. Not paying attention to her bouncing, the ball hits the curb and ricochets toward the house. As she chases the little red ball toward the house, the ball picks up unnatural momentum and bounces right into the huge gaping front door. The little girl pauses for a moment, looks up at the house, which now appears to be staring down at her, and cautiously enters the house in search of her little red ball. as she slowly walks into the atrium, she surveys the decaying mess that once was obviously a beautiful mansion. She becomes mesmerized by the exquisite detail of every inch of the banister winding up the seemingly endless staircase in front of her. Suddenly her thoughts are broken by a horrifying commotion. She whips around to run out the front door, but finds only a blank wall where the door once stood. Frightened, she runs down the first hallway she sees, trying desperately to find a way out, but with every turn the world behind her changes, bending to the will of the house, so that even finding a path back to the atrium where she began becomes impossible. Terrified, the little girl sinks into a corner, puts her head in her hands, and weeps. 10 years later, she wakes up in a panic, now a young woman. Dirty, scarred. She’s now clothed in black pants, work boots, and a black wife beater. Her skin is pale and dirty. Sun has not graced her flesh in over a decade. She wakes to find a meal placed on a dirty silver tray before her, just enough to sustain life, just like every morning before. Placed there by a figure she can only see in passing, around a corner, walking through a door, a figure that has become her only friend, and her only hate. Her entire existence has become nothing but to hunt and destroy this shadow that keeps her here. As she hunts him relentlessly day after day, she becomes lost in the dichotomy of her being. This thing that keeps her here, this person that repeatedly rapes her mind and watches her when she sleeps, has become her only friend. For is this person left, she would cease to exist. For she live only to kill him. But lives only for him. Every day the house changes around her, so that every day she wakes in a foreign land. The only constant is him. She hears his heart beating, she smells him, she can only think of finding him, but he is also the only thing she knows of love.
When an alarm clock screams; it is to hover between the doorway of sleep and awareness. Morena wants to stay in the dream where the sights and sounds are familiar and expresses her like nothing else can. It is virtually impossible to have a field of paper flowers, but rather than deal with life, Morena would rather live a fantasy life in her dreams. To be clear, she does know what her life entails, and she retreats to sleep to avoid all that in the ultimate escapism. She sees real life as a nightmare. The time before sleep, in the quiet darkness is often used for contemplation and reflection, something which Morena would rather avoid. Despite it being fake, Morena longs for it desperately. She knows that none of it’s real, but she also knows that she can be a goddess in her own imagination, in her deep sleep. While dealing with fans, Morena doesn’t even know about the existence of that fan. Morena has never met this fan and so has no shared experiences except perhaps a concert the fan has attended. In other words, the fan knows a lot about her. The fan is looking needy, so Morena signs an autograph book, hands the book back to the fan and the briefest of hand touches is had love written all over it. The Lord is everywhere to those who believe in him. All she had to do was search hard. All good that resemble him are coming out.  When Morena was 6 years old she was told that her sister who was 3 years old, had died. She was in the school yard when she found out. She has  little voice in her head trying to bring her back to reality. She doesn’t want to believe her sister has died, and is conflicted. She’s smiling, but she doesn’t really believe it. She thinks it’s all a dream and she’ll wake up soon. She’s getting mad that everyone keeps asking if she’s ok. She’s thinking: "Of course I’m alright, nothing’s wrong." There’s the little voice, where it's trying to say that she should just kind of living her life in the moment, trying not to think about whatever has happened. But inside, she is falling apart. She finally realizes she is still around, while her sister is dead. That was a long time ago and she'll never forget it! In this moment in the present, Morena has this dream: She doesn’t want to die, so she wants her significant other to help her to stay. She’s lying down in a misty forest, her love is kneeling over her, and she is telling her loved one to never forget her and that she will be waiting for him in the after world. So, he is waiting and waiting for his time to pass and remembering her he dreams about her, but the dreams are not good enough. Morena has fallen into sin and she is calling for someone to help her, but no one is there. The last line signifies that the sin is causing her pain, whether it be spiritual, mental, or physical pain, but she knows that only she can save herself and find her way back into God’s grace. She is turning from God and falling back into sin, there is nowhere to hide — everywhere there is evil and nobody can’t escape it anywhere. There will always be evil and temptation and people should always be aware. She sees that pain and suffering in the world is caused by the temptation, but she knows it will only get worse, not better. She’s afraid and knows that all the things going on will cause her pain, but once again only she can save herself. Morena could see devils, which tempt us to sin. She is being tempted to fall back into sin — she tries to fight them off but the temptation is too great. Although she knows the consequences, she can’t resist and gives in. She wants him to say goodnight to her, and not be afraid because she’s not actually there, but she is watching over him. He is calling out to her, and trying to communicate, but he passes out, dies or sleeps. Perhaps signaling that they will have union in the after life. She thinks to be free now, free of her fear, free of the chains bounding her heart, she admits that she, like other people, is insane, now she can realize and see clear things that her mind hid her before to preotect she from the truth. She decides to get free of all chains. There’s a virus in her blood, the fear running in veins all the time, taking her place in life, fear is the most powerfull mean to control a person. Violence kills a person’s self conscience, kills dreams, self exteem, authentic emotions and feelings, kills silence and sleeping, is like living through death and it is horrible. Morena wants to forget and wants her bad side to know that without her memory she will smother and die. She has to open the door of her mind, clean it and own it, is time to learn sleeping in her bed and fix broken windows. She wants to remain lucid and remember herself that fear is only in her mind, speaking to everybody so she doesn’t feel alone, she needs support and compassion of other people. She can’t sleep, she feels that she is close to death when she close her eyes and has nightmares, she totally meets the fear in her unconscius sleeping.But she has to stay, there’s no way out, it is sweet to be in her embrace, she’s your only obsession, your only tomorrow and friend. to erase the silence of this reality. The bad part of herself hiding behind the mask of the person who died, a part of her personality was torn away, so a diseased mind took its place. She felt a thing, something to be used, a thing containing just fear and hate for herself, the only aim of this thing is to hate and break the new, reborn Morena who’s trying to make her way through the mess fear has done. She talks to it, "Why don’t you take your own responsability? You are not so weak like you preach, get up and live, stop harm yourself and be one thing with me, we’ve always been one but we were so confused. I’m gonna show myself that I’m not weak, I’m going to win."
Morena has been thinking that just cutting him off might be the only way for him to learn. Obviously with all this pain, she thinks that they’ll only be hurting each other, and so she’s sick of him lying and her lying to herself. Obviously the guy is coming back to her all upset, telling her he can’t live without her. He can’t seem to understand how much grief he’s been causing her. Now that he’s regretting his decision, now that he’s the one hurting, he’s playing the victim, when his pain was self-inflicted. He’s been so conflicted with himself that there’s no way he can really want her — just the relationship. He only wants it because he sees it’s finally ending — not for the right reasons! She’s reminding him that she never did anything that caused him pain, reminding him that all his pain has been self-inflicted. He’s trying to get sympathy from her, as if she were the one causing his pain. She reminds him that he doesn’t really love her and that he was never hers, which is also probably something she’s just come to realize in the process. Morena has been dealing with a lover who has been wishy washy with their relationship, and she’s finally sick and tired of all the trouble he’s been putting her through. He probably has broken up a few times, or has taken some sort of action that basically says he doesn’t really love her. If he really did love her, he wouldn’t be putting her through all this pain. He can’t seem to make up his mind on if he really wants her or not, and she’s sick of dealing with his conflicts and an inability to make a good decision that he doesn’t regret. She’s finally trying to be the mature one and finally find some peace for herself. She sees that he’s too conflicted to just leave her or take her, and to save them both from further pain, she’s decided that she just doesn’t want to be a part of it anymore. She is firm in her decision by making the decision for him. Getting him out of her life so she can move on, and so that hopefully he will learn. In her depression state;  Morena  doesn’t want to be trapped inside a false sense of happiness, she she doesn’t want to forget what it’s like to be without her heart being broken. She wants to be herself, even if she feels terrible it feels real. Even though she loves the feeling of heartbreak she also really wants to let it all go and move on. Here the broken hearted lover shows their vulnerability by saying how much the other lover is missed and how lonely they feel without them. . Because she is unable to feel, it is as though she is losing a part of herself; any contact with the ex breaks the defences and lets all the emotions show. She never wanted herself to become so cold and lonely, she can’t control her emotions, and is wondering why she is so out of control. Morena doesn’t want her sadness to overtake her and kill her. She wants to throw away her hope! Her happiness with her lover is artificial and that only when she is alone does she acknowledge her inner sorrow. She has realized that she cannot feel better unless she breaks free of her depression. She’ll stay in love with him so that she can be together with someone, anyone. Morena finally declaring their decision to move on despite everything! She begins to reminsicing her past: As a young teen; Morena is sorry to leave her family without warning, but not sorry enough to come back. She holds on to the hope that maybe they will wake up and realize that something is missing from their lives, that something is not right. No one’s going to notice that she’s gone or be sad for her, because no one even cared for her to begin with. She wonders what she did to deserve such a low place in life, and she finds it hard to believe how little people care about her. Morena has been badly wronged by a guy in which she loved and is now wagering with herself the fact of leaving him and it all behind. She still in heart and harsh reality loves this man, yet in truth can not be with him anymore. She has put up with the pain long enough, yet she is also talking about taking her own life by suicide. She feels like she is loved by noone, all alone, lost in a world that can no longer be hers. She is twisted in morbid chaos and left to wonder if she can escape the pain she is feeling. only wishing in heart someone can reach out to her and pull her back from the world she is in. The plan that lives inside her mind of so many long lost feelings of her past and how she would give anything for just one ounce of love and compassion, yet in it all she wakes up to a world where there is nothing more than hate,anger, and creed. She is living in a dream yet knowing the reality that it in front of her. Mainly she is just in a war with herself and her emotions. She can’t find her way out and yet the best way for her at the time looks to be suicide. She wants to escape that pain and those hardened feelings. She wants to let it all go. And only pray for the moment when someone may see the hurt that lies within. And save her from her darkened voyage yet to come! She can dream and believe that people care about her. But she knows in the end that it’s not real, and in reality, no one cares about her.

She couldn't understand why she was thinking these feelings and it begin to worsen when she dealt with obsessive fans: Her stalkers has stopped outside her house. So she’s locking the door and not looking back because she’s scared. She’s getting changed — undressing in the dark and not letting them see her, hiding from them. They’ll never know the way that what they’ve said has freaked her out and made her paranoid. She can’t believe they’d try and get her to do the things they want her to do, which is whatever the stalker’s demands are. They believe they know her, but they’re wrong. They’re haunting her in her dreams and she’s terrified. They’ve all got her. She can’t sleep, because then she’ll experience these nightmares. While this may be flattering to some, Morena sees this as a great deal of pressure when she is expected to save her fans from suicide and sadness, she cannot save everyone, and she is not to be used. Morena’s life also can be a mess sometimes, such as many other celebrities lives. We expect them to be perfect, but when they are not, we are there videotaping and watching them suffer on our computer screens. They think she belongs to them. They’ve got her cornered, so just come out and get it over. All the pressure from the fans and media, along with family and personal issues, is a lot on her back. God gave her a purpose to change the lives of these people. In the past few years, people can see so many girls running around with long black hair, tripp pants and armwarmers, singing and playing piano. Morena has become an icon for so many teenagers, and now she feels pressured to do everything right, because she knows she’s being watched. Also, her music and style has changed from the previous album, and she doesn’t want to maintain her old image. She doesn’t want her fans to cling to her and depend on her, because she can’t help everyone. Then she’s asking God to fix her from what she’s become. Fans love her so much, but can’t hear her screaming. They can’t fix her problems like she’s fixed theirs. How can all  her fans claim to love her, when they don’t know what she’s going through? If they love her, they have to realize she’s human, and can fend for herself. She isn’t a frail little doll. She won’t feel pressured to maintain the image she set up for herself, her old self she used to be means nothing to her anymore and she wants to forget that person. But she found someone that understood her when no one else could. She had extreme nightmares. So, to face them by writing music to stop herself fearing them as much. Then she thought of someone she previously loved her: He fell more in love with drinking than with Morena, so she had to fight for him and lost, so they broke up. Then she found Josh her current lover and felt guilty that she loved him. She thought of her former lover, how his drinking issues tore them apart and how she wanted him to try harder but he didn’t. Morena is feeling guilty about loving her current lover. There are some feelings for a broken lover still and she’s wondering what to do about it. She thought about being infatuated with someone, she explained it in an interview as "When you are in deep, you feel as if you are under their complete control and you usually don’t want to or can’t refuse them." This lover of hers wants more than she can give, which is her love but because she is deeply in love, she can’t refuse to give her all. Morena knows that she shouldn’t let her person demand so much of her or treat her a certain way but she can’t help but enjoy it. She likes it too much. She can’t imagine being without her significant other but she feels like she is being suffocated in the relationship. She doesn’t want to leave. Because Morena is in a relationship with this person and she can’t refuse them, she has lost sight of who she is and possibly her autonomy. But she doesn’t care because she is so devoted to this person! She could feel the sadness and pain she’s suffering from. She would likely be in this pain without complaining until she is torn away from her. She wants to feel this pain and that’s why she closes her eyes and slowly moves to some other place. She thinks that there’s no way to mend her soul and that fear is too hard to handle. Morena can’t handle that much suffering any more but still, can’t manage to go back in her previous life. She has shame that she’s not able to repair her soul, now, she wants a break through in her life as she needs to overcome the trouble. Then she finds a light for a new and happy life that is denied by her previously but now she says goodbye to this pain. Her heart is broken as she’s already faced so much of pain. She can’t hold on to this situation anymore and needs a change, needs someone to release her from net of fears and pain. While with this person, she has feelings for, but he does not share the same feelings. She states she’s been dreaming that someday her and this friend would fall in love, and he would treat her like a human. She never once thought of how distant the dream was. Morena was so blinded and clouded by her selfish wants that she always pushed any thought that her dream couldn’t happen. She denied any feeling that there was no hope for her and just kept pushing her friend over the edge with her desires. All the promises she made to her friend about realizing that their love could never happen, but she still failed to accept the fact it was never to become. Her friend placed his blind faith in Morena who swore she could separate her reality from her fantasies, but Amy bit off more than she could chew. She blindly loved him, and, in doing so, ruined the good relationship she swore she wouldn’t let herself destroy. After Morena’s life is torn apart, she wants nothing more out of life than to go back in time and redo all the things she did wrong to kill her relationship. But she knows in the end, what’s done is done and she can never go back and fix the past. She is attempted to be something she wasn’t to impress her friend, hoping that maybe her friend would realize how perfect they were for each other. But Morena knows she never belonged where she forced herself to be. She’d give anything to feel like she was a part of her friend’s group, yet she stood out and didn’t feel at home, which made her frightened. It shows how much her friend cared about her. He knew she was killing herself inside. He was scared, not for him, but for her about how much she was hurting herself by holding onto this fantasy that would never come true. Morena believes that in the future, the two won’t have to deal with this constant stress and doubt that Morena’s feelings towards him have put on both of them. But she knows that, no matter what, they will never be as close as before. is haunted by her “cruel wanting” and the shadows of her friend who is now gone. She wants all of this pain of her memories to stop, but the mess she has created, and the fantasy of the life she could have lived, if she didn’t ruin her relationship and just settled with being friends, still haunts her. She killed everything good in her life is because she wasn’t able to forget and leave behind the burningly selfish desires she had. Morena had everything she wanted, but more importantly she had everyone she wanted, who was that one friend. Not only did she lose everything good in her life, she lost him. She’s not only lost in her paradise, she’s all alone in her paradise. Something she’s never felt before but now, once he’s gone. Morena dreamed and dreamed and wanted more and more from her friend until she destroyed the relationship she had with him. After everything good in her life died, the only thing Morena is left with is her selfish desires. All she did was expect more and more from her friend and never tried to fix the relationship that she was destroying. She just thought that demanding more from her friend would fix everything, but she never thought of her friend. She only thought of herself and what she wanted out of him. She only know realizes that as time went by, she was slowly killing her relationship with every move she made, she cannot believe how she was really treating her friend versus how she thought she was treating him. was given her paradise. Her friend loved her and would do anything for her. He was the greatest thing in her life, and no one could compare to him. However, because of her actions, she wanted more, which, in paradise. Morena was so blinded and clouded by her selfish needs she strayed away from her paradise. She had everything she could ever want, but she destroyed it all, so blinded by love she lost herself within it. However, Morena is finally feels like she is good enough for the person that she is with. Before she might have had low self confidence and didn’t feel worthy of the other person’s love but now she feels good enough to be in the relationship and for their love. It is so valuable and without it our entire planet would die, so rain is a bringer and sustained person of life, she wants some sort of significance falling onto her because she believes that if she weren’t with this person that she wouldn’t be alive or that life would have no meaning. She believes that she can’t hold onto this relationship forever which would lead to her feelings of doubt within her own life without this person. She couldn't help to wonder if she is worthy of their love even though she loves them so much. She learns that she must do whatever she feels sge must, in order to get better. She can’t control the depression. She had been through it before and thought it was gone for good, but it slowly creeps up on the person again. She is accepting the fact that she has a problem and that she needs help — believing that there is a way to get better and move on with her life.

Lovella is confident, but still at some moments she’s a little insecure. Supermodels are skinny, she still eats at fast food places, in which some supermodels look stick thin. Lots of people asked her was she ashamed to be on it. Which she answered no, she was very grateful. In the industry, almost everyone is exactly the same. They don’t stand out, it is a machine, that functions one way. People in Hollywood wear heels, everyday. Not Lovella. She said that, "You can still look fabulous in a dress even wearing converses." She’s saying that she can be single and have fun, Not just going out and flirting and guys. Nothing is real in the entertainment world; despite being in the fame land and having all these pressures of the media telling her to say this and do what, she is still gonna be herself. Everytime her boyfriend and her have problems, he runs away from it. Lovella can’t think about anything but him. Ever since they broke up, she’s been very upset. She’ll only say what she wants to say once and then she’ll move on. He’s concerned with her but she doesn’t want that and she guarantees that she’s fine. Even thought she just said she’s fine she still says she’s a mess, which could possibly be because of her mental issues. Everytime she sees him, her love grows and she misses him more and more. He’s the only guy she want to be with, he was her first love. The only person she needs is him and she doesn’t want to be without him anymore. She asks him to kiss her like he loves her and like he misses her because she knows that’s what he feels. Lovella misses when he would call her and she knew it was him before looking at her phone! Apparently they had a very bickering relationship, always messing with each other and fight for simple things. Lovella thought of her old best friend, Arsyn Komiz. She was given very many things…she was given so many things but she needed someone to help her embrace what she had and to help her open her eyes and see what she had. Even though they were different they were still best friends. While dealing with that; she is trying to be like everyone else, not herself. Desperate; she’s been stuck in a routine trying to be everyone else. She’s trying to find confidence in herself. When she looked in the mirror she didn’t see herself as beautiful. However, she tells herself not to worry about what the mirror says because it’s wrong. She’s finally finding out that she always had the power to stay strong and be herself. She dosen’t let the self-harm and the bullying bring her down anymore. She said in an interview about findind friendships too: "We all think we don’t need anyone in our lives. But we will always need a special person in our hard days, our days of tears and days of laughter. We need someone to tell us to keep going and to do great things with our lives. Even though we think we will be fine by ourselves we won’t. We can all find that special person to put a smile on our face. As I’m growing up i always thought I didn’t need anyone to be happy.But in reality all of us need someone by outsides, it can be a lover or a friend. But we need someone to keep us pushing to do better. Like this line says 'its easy to feel like you don’t need help',  all of us need help and we will always need help sometime in our everyday life. We might not see it but in reality theirs always someone helping us to keep going. ometimes we thought we’re strong to go along but then I release no.. no matter there were thousands of unmingle phrases, sentences, chapters that thought me to move on.. but there is one thing I still need, is someone. someone who makes my environment insolated with words and feelings of his or her self. Friends know you better than anyone else so whenever you’re sad you’re friend knows that and she or he tries to help you get over the things that make you sad." In a memory: She was standing behind her bedroom door as she heard her parents argue, her dad had a gambling addiction and she feels like she is more of a charity ward than a daughter. Her father's heart is empty but still to much for him to handle. She tries so hard to continue to seek out her dad’s love but it’s hopeless, she cant get through to him. There is no hope for her father, he has hurt her enough. Lovella is trying to get her father to remember how much she’s supposed to mean to him. When she was a little girl, before the relationship between her and her birth father dissolved. While in a state after a meltdown; she prays that the rain would go away. She never have the chance to be happy if she focus on her struggles and let them ruin her. Silence can be very peaceful. As she ends struggles and pain, she will find peace. Even though people might have not known the struggles she’s been through they see her and have nothing positive to say, nothing that inspires her which makes her feel worthless. Lovella starts to feel better about herself and she starts to feel normal again as she untangles herself from her problems. To her personal demonds; Lovella is asking them if they would prefer her to carry on with the rockstar image and bring harm to herself rather than get help with her problems. She is still hurting and struggling to deal with her problems but she is strong enough to face it and is doing well. All the bad things and negativity and depression in her life to go and she’s gonna stay and watch herself get better; all the depression and negativity can go to hell but she is closer to happiness. Those cruel people may take away her happiness and break her down. Sometimes feels weak like glass or paper and her people are gonna keep trying to hurt her but she will be fighting back to overcome these problem and be strong for herself and her fans. When she overcomes her depression she feels tall and powerful! She says to her inner demons, "You can take everything from me or say what you want about me to kill my character. Treat me like I’m weak and fragile, like glass that can be broken or paper that is easily torn. Do what you want to break me down, I will rise above the pain and fear! I will stand tall.....Try and make me weak and break my spirit, I am wiping off the bad and growing from it.....When I overcome my  depression I will feel tall and powerful like a skyscraper." 

Katelyn cannot make and stick with a decision. She is often not satisfied with the way they look. She want one thing at the opposite at the same time, she is a vicious woman that anyone would know. Basically he’s not cool. Not cool at all. It’s because he thinks too much all the time. Then he says things that don’t make sense and are too complicated because he thinks too much. This man is no good for her! They both were with each other and compares it to being twins, it was so compatible however the love between the two was new, they were just lovebirds with so much love for each other, but as the relationship wore on, all the love ended, like a dead battery, with no energy left. She says that they used to laugh at almost everything but now he has become boring and is not going to change. Katelyn wants a doctor to treat his fiancee as he is apparently suffering from moody love, she is stuck in her relationship, and doesn’t with to leave it yet as the boy changes his mind a lot! The boy Katelyn’s dating is a huge contradicting hypocrite, at least on low temperature. he's always changing mind a lot doesn’t really let other people trust him, and Katelyn struggles to trust the guy as he don’t want to be with her but he don’t want to leave her either. So she decided to spice things up until she didn’t expect it to happen and it wasn’t her idea but because she was so drunk, it gave her the confidence to kiss a girl and not feel awkward about it. Here Katelyn begins to shift from rationalizing why she made a mistake in kissing a girl, to what was so enticing about the proposal as she was so hesitant may have been societal pressure to be heterosexual, however, it is also plausible that the hesitancy stems from her religious upbringing and start as a gospel singer. curious for this other female who was so attractive that she not only caught Katelyn’s attention, but took over it enough to make her give into seductive temptation. She is trying something for and experiment to see if she really likes it being with other girl so that is why she is testing it out. She knows that a good girl doesn’t kiss other girl and they don’t behave so promisciously, she is probably drunk, and is therefore confused with what she should do. seem to have a fluid orientation, falling in and out of love with both genders over a lifetime, as she just wanted to try to get a taste of how it feels like to kiss a girl. Katelyn also worries that her boyfriend won’t take this issue up quite seriously allegedly labeling her a girl-loving, pride person. She begins to have conflicting emotions about kissing another woman. This could have been caused by an internal struggle or simply the intoxicating effects of alcohol just confusing her emotions. Either way, however, she realizes that she is not falling in love with this other woman. She just wanted to test the waters. Just because she was only testing it out doesn’t mean she wouldn’t like the kiss! However, she needs her boyfriend's help to aid her to remember what happened the previous night, since she was most likely drunk. With her boyfriend drunk, and barely any money left, all the couple has left to do is grab a taxi and go back to their motel. While Katelyn may have lost her fake ID that she needs for gambling in the casino, her boyfriend lost the motel key, meaning they have no place to sleep for the night. Katelyn warns her boyfriend to not blame and give dirty looks to her, since she is apparently not at fault for what happened the night before. Her boyfriend is only came to the casino to earn some money and leave town with that money. She had a bit to much too drink the past night and has not been granted the wonderful gift of a hangover. She wondering if her and her boyfriend participated in getting married in a chapel dressed up as Elvis and also wondering why she is the one wearing his ring, she scolds at him to not to act like a child and call his mother because they are in it together and have each others' backs--Everything that’s happening to Katelyn is too much for her to handle. She also scolds at him to stop whining, reminding what her boyfriend had told her the night before, they should shut up and gamble which is the reason that they should stop complaining and have fun is because they’re in a casino trying to win the lottery. Instead of worrying about the fact that they may have blown cash at a club, they should shake the glitter off and move on.


That's when she has experienced something perfect, so comparisons come easy because everything else falls short of this perfection. She may have picked the perfect man, however she encountered unseen issues. Because this man was the perfect one for her, she never had any back up plan. Now she feels lost. Even if Katelyn finds the next best guy in the world, he will only be second place. He was like an abnormally warm temperature in the middle of winter, she doesn’t think she’ll find someone better than him. But they have broken up, she knows deep down she should, bringing upon her current boyfriend and how she has began dating again. While her current boyfriend is kissing her, all she can think about is the man she truly loves, and now she is full of regrets and feels dirty- almost as if she wasn’t being loyal to her real lover who’s been out of the picture for a while. She should have stopped him from leaving and now she’s faced with her regret. She learned the lesson much as she could not forget it. When she is around her current boyfriend, she still thinks of the man she truly loves. She wishes that he was the one sleeping next to her instead of her current boyfriend. Katelyn still wishes to be with him and to be able to gaze into his eyes! Even when she is with her new lover, she spends her time thinking of her former love, who she still longs for. She can’t move on, and doesn’t really want to for the matter. When she is with her new lover she can’t get lost in how he loves her or makes love to her she thinks back to how her former lover made love to her the things he did and said. She wishes he would barge into the room and take her away, so that they could be together and she will finally be happy. If she could just get him back she would make sure she didn’t make anymore mistakes and lose him again. However as she was moving onto her new love; Katelyn begins to channel in her hatred towards her ex-boyfriend. She wishes he would kill himself and adds insult to injury by trying to emasculate him. The guy is so sad that Katelyn tells him to buy a meal and to eat away his feelings seeing as the next line talks about him being really thin. Normally, not being understood makes people really frustrated. But here Katelyn’s saying that this guy thinks it makes him seem cool and mysterious.  He’s obsessed with himself and it’s annoying her, she thinks that being mean to him will bring him back down to Earth! Katelyn is angry because he’d rather be online rather than be with her. He’s more feminine than she is, but she didn’t realize that at first. He thinks stylish, charming man. This guy strolls around like he is one, acting as if he’s all that when in reality he isn’t. He speaks and carries himself as a someone who is not into women but in all actuality he’s not like that at all. Then, this guy likes her for what she really looks like, with or without make-up, he doesn’t care as long as he’s with Katelyn. Even if she tells the joke wrong you still thinks she’s funny; she submits herself to her lover and believes that she can recognize true love. Before Katelyn met her man, she was a nerd. Also not normal. Her life were a little hard and she may have been depressed. This boy helped her feel happy again. Every single time February 14th comes around he will always be her Valetine. The two got a car and drove all the way to their destination. Once there, they drank alcohol on the beach, enough to get drunk. After, the pair got a motel, and built a fort out of the linens provided! She had a longing to find her perfect partner that she felt like she was missing a part of herself to be whole. However, now that she has the lover in her life, she isn’t feeling incomplete, because her partner makes her feel whole again. Katelyn wants to live life to the fullest. Like a teenage lifestyle! The guy Katelyn’s with makes her feel like a teenager again. She feels so free and alive with him. Katelyn gets aroused, and wants to run away with her guy to keep on getting arousal inside. In their relationship they should be open with each other and do what they feel like; she gets nervous when he looks at her. She thinks it's a dream, but it isn't. She doesn’t want her man to look back because she wants him to never leave. Katelyn is looking good in jeans, she's getting sensual around him and wants to have a teenage dream tonight in her dreams while she’s sleeping. But on this Friday, Katelyn  and all of her friends have been drinking a lot. Many people black out when they are drunk, and end up in interesting places. Rich people that also happen to be drunk can do some very strange things. She admits that she even smells like she is drunk, social networks and crap showed how the party went she does not remember indulging in the acts but it was awesome she does not care. Even though all kinds of bad stuff happened because they went crazy last Friday night, they don’t care cause it was really fun, and they can’t wait to do it again next week. She is trying to think of a good explanation to tell her parents about what happened on the party. Her house was partly destroyed from the party, she had a wild-fun time and got screwed. She needs a ginger ale to settle her stomach and motion sickness because she was drunk--She got so drunk she doesn’t know if she kissed him or not! They spent money on stuff and was so drunk people kicked them out the bar for probably starting something there. They ran naked in the park, jumping into a pool, and done the unimaginable for the straight folks. She had a turn-up and that's why she couldn't remember last night! The grass is actually greener in other sunny places, beaches and climate are warm in which makes the girls go wild that their bikini tops are undone to avoid tan lines. The boys are turning their heads as they walk by so far around to see the girls with their tops undone that they risk breaking their necks from twisting them so far. Nowhere on the globe has girls as hot as them,  it’s nearly impossible to walk stylishly in the sand with stilettos on. They hang out in the car blasting music on the radio, there is a lot of good looking toned people, dark skin, and fit people because there is alot of sport players here and other people like to party. Girls are all stunningly beautiful and look absolutely sexy in their bikinis, tanned skin look so hot that it will make all the boys go crazy and turn them on big time. However, the lover of her life is not what it appears to be: She used to be the best there is but he treats her horrible. Katelyn used to be a powerful woman, she’s nothing to him and after he left her--she's so messed up. She used to have so much strength and pride! She has so much potential, but he is scared of how great she can become so he keeps holding her back, trying to extinguish the light inside of her. She was unstoppable but now she wishes she never met this boy, she used to be a strong woman with a lot potential and pride but she let him think she is less than she really is. But she won't let him get to her anymore!