Schadenfreude--Short Stories by KATDON

These are short stories, which contain stories that are personal. A loose singer who has no shame of what she does is inappropriate. Second that funniest home videos that aren't so funny, they seem so cruel. Third is where somebody hates Yo Mama jokes. And lastly, is about how annoying people can be but then you realize that you annoying people too. Hope you guys like it! --KatDon

Floozy Bimbo

Molly Malcom, that name makes you want to cringe. Who wouldn't cringe at that name? Molly has been doing a lot of things that shock people and also disgusts them but her fans love her despite all that. Which is a lot of people are left to scratch their heads over. The most disturbing is when she dances in a sexually provocative manner, which it involves thrusting hip movements and a low squatting stance. Her wearing suggestive clothing that involves baring midriff, no pants, shorty shorts, and ones that showed her exposed stump. It was like she was a prostitute. 

And she admits that her songs are about drugs. Molly wasn't like this: She was once a saccharine, cutesy pop princess alter ego--Golly Molly. There was a sitcom about Golly Molly's town  however it ended as Molly wanted to focus her career on music and left her acting career behind. While working in the studio; Molly meets a lot of R&B artists and rappers: Al Capone, Scottie Kane, Alice B. Toklas, Back Jack, Big Harry, Crazy Eddie, Doosey, Don Jem, Heroina, and Dr. Feelgood. Molly and Scottie got to know each other better as Scottie got to know her parents, Adam and Candy. Molly got to know Scottie’s family too. There was Angel ‘Angie’, Bamba, Bale, Baby T, Bernice, Billy H., Cecil, Chippy, Cloud, Cory, and Dice. Molly made friends with a lot of dark skinned, sassy girls too such as Coco, Scottie’s sister. 

There was also Mari Juana, Barbie, Belladonna, Angola, Bo, Hera, Bickie, and three aunts—Nora, Mary, and Hazel. Molly calls them her ‘Black Beauties’, they are part of Molly’s performances. One of Molly’s performances was how she was centered against a backdrop of the Black Beauties as her back up dancers The Black Beauties seem to have been chosen on the basis of their thicker bodies, and one of them, the extremely tall woman, was subjected to fondling and a simulated rim job. It was beyond disturbing. The horror, the absolute, repulsive horror. She has some troubled suitors—Gasper, George, Cid, Henry, Arnold, Dooley, and Henry. At an award show; Molly used some sort of foam finger for inappropriate uses. The only question is why would her fans still support her? Apparently Molly is a bad influence on some people…Define, some people. While she is not performing onstage, Molly does all kinds of bad stuff: She steals things from stores. One time, she went shopping and saw a bear attired top. What does she do? She goes and steals it! She smokes cigarettes, marijuana, and she snorts cocaine & coke. She drinks alcohol, or poison as she likes to call it. Any kind of alcohol—Beer, wine, rum, vodka, champagne (she mixes it with drugs), Peppermint schnapps, and she has house parties, where they do bizarre things. It is hinted that Molly is bisexual for she has kissed her Black Beauties. 

Funny Home Videos—Yeah, Define Funny

Fuuny Home Videos—they are a long-running television series that features home video clips sent in by viewers, the show can be considered the proto-Reality Show concept, as it existed through audience interaction. At the end of most episodes, the producers pick three clips for the studio audience to vote on for prizes of $2,000, $3,000, and $10,000; the big money winner goes on to compete with other weekly winners for a $100,000 prize later. They say if you wish to send in your own funniest home videos then you should send stuff that is funny and original. But lately, it’s not funny at all. You see, every time the joke in a video is an elderly person falling or getting hurt, or a child. Rather grating to see a toddler run over their infant sibling, then have the audience laugh uproariously. Heck! You could say any time a video shows anyone getting hurt, which is most of the time. One show had a musical montage of angry/crying small kids angrily shoving other small kids over, usually causing the other kids to cry. It was a bit jarring to hear the studio audience laughing at the clips. 

There was one clip where a kid was crying because he had diarrhea, while the mom was just filming and laughing; only the family dog was being nice to the poor kid. The worst part? This one won the $10,000 prize. Another video of a kid who accidentally took a restraunt's reusable cup home in the car and his mother was recording him and telling him she's going to report him to the cops or something similar and, no surprise, it won at the end of the episode it was shown in. Another clip where a kid's parents give him a small cake for getting good grades, only for them to reveal it's actually a toilet paper roll covered in frosting. The child understandably cries his eyes out while his parents act like jerks, all while the audience is laughing. The clips with people vomiting are just cruel; the person is sick and they are being recorded and humiliated on TV while the audience just laughs. The voters on this show really need to learn that it's Funniest Home Videos, not Cruelest Home Videos.

  

I HATE ‘YO MAMA’ JOKES!!!!!

Leiry and Reily are two class clowns who have a history of saying jokes. But today, they said some pretty mean ‘Yo Mama’ jokes. “Yo mama is so fat that her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.” Leiry teased. “Yo mama is so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her ten years to live.” Reily countered. “Yo mama is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell ‘taxi!’” remarked Leiry. “Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate contained an apology letter from the condom factory.” mocked Reily. “Yo mama is so ugly that that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.” Leiry teased. “Yo mama is so ugly that she tried to take a bath and the water jumped out!” replied Reily. Little did they know that Ingrid was walking by but when she heard them saying ‘Yo Mama’ jokes; she was very offensive by that. She loved her momma, what’s the matter with that? How dare someone made up those jokes about their mothers. That is just cruel. So very cruel, bet their mothers had done so much for them. That is what she hates, the ‘Yo Mama’ jokes. Nobody says that, noooooobody! “Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip that she braids it.” called Leiry. “Yo mama is so hairy that Bigfoot wants to take HER picture!” Reily countered. “Yo mama is so hairy that she looks like she has Buckwheat in a headlock.” mocked Leiry. “Yo mama is so dark that she spits chocolate milk!” ranted Reily. “Yo mama is so dark that she went to night school and was marked absent!” teased Leiry. “Yo mama is so dark that she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.” rambled Reily. It didn’t stopped as Ingrid was getting closer. “Yo mama is so old that her birth certificate says ‘expired’ on it.” mocked Leiry. “Oh yeah? Yo mama is so old that that when she was in school there was no history class.” remarked Reily. “Yo mama is so old that I told her to act her own age, and she died.” countered Leiry. “Yo mama is so old that she knew Burger King while he was still…” They both were bonked on the head, both by Ingrid who exclaims humorously, “I hate YO MAMA jokes!!!!!” Leiry and Reily couldn't believe this, “What? Why?” They asked. “My mama is in her 50’s, she complains on how she gets old! And she’s fat and tan, and doesn’t feel PRETTY enough! You insult my own mother? You must die!!!!” Ingrid cried hilariously. And she walked away, leaving the boys 

Most Annoying Person Ever

Annoying people, don’t you hate them? They wear size 5 shoes, they make a stupid face when they don't understand something, and who consequently are making a stupid face all the time, they have the most annoying voices. The kinds who latch onto you and rant about everything they can think of until your ears bleed. They talk loudly in public places about their personal problems. People who repeat themselves or talk to you as if you were 4 years old. They think they can sing, but who really can't. Whoever decided that The Merchant of Venice was somehow inappropriate to study in school. Their mothers let their ‘manchild’ screaming in stores, spending their entire summer vacation standing around in their yards and screaming at the top of their lungs, mimes, say ‘nucular’ instead of ‘nuclear.’ These kinds of people who continuously call you ALL THE FREAKING time and don't get the hint you DON'T want to talk. Take Sabrina’s classmate, Basil Hank for example. He maybe be diagnosed with autism however he doesn't have the right to annoy almost everyone else. Basil picks on Sabrina. If Sabrina presses the elevator button, trying to be nice but Basil got aggravated. “Don’t press the elevator button!” He said loudly in her ears. Or when he compliments her shoes like a hundred times, “I like Sabrina’s shoes, they’re my favorite brand called Road Runners.” This guy was going between liking Sabrina as a friend, then annoying the hell out of her, and when Sabrina blows off steam by how annoyed she is; Basil gets upset, not realizing that he’s annoying her. It really was irritating. Sabrina had been dealing with this guy from 5-6 years, or 7 despite the New Year and how they are nearly graduating. It’s been hard but Sabrina had to look on the bright side. When they graduate this year; she won’t have to deal with him anymore. But sadly for Sabrina, she is kind of annoying to her younger brother.